I was wondering maybe
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy?
I need you more than you could ever think. I need us more than you could ever imagine.
I feel like a GINORMOUS whale right about now and don’t know how to stop… i feel like I am spiralling out of control….I had SUCH a bad eating week, oh my god. I told myself I would eat clean today and I ruin it. wowowowowow. WHAT THE HELL. I am so upset… I am PETRIFIED to get on a scale, not that I have one here, when I go back home… stop eating so much steph, oh my god, what is wrong with you… STOP. I was supposed to be able to starve more unsupervised again… tomorrow I am walking about town ALL freakin day… haven’t had my workouts away from home… there is a huge hill in town I dragged my luggage up and down today… got a bit of a workout there but still… WOW. I can’t get any fatter. I have already trailed too far from where I want to be… remember that post about being 115? I’m near well 10 lbs away from that if not more now what with this bad week… my god, at least I am not around my colleagues this week which means NOT eating won’t be noticed!!!! Deep breaths.. I can do this… right? :(
Haven’t been able to access my blog in a week… thankfully I can…
"Fuck, I want to kiss you.
Not just a simple kiss,
I want to grab your hips and kiss you in the most passionate ways.
I want to hold your face in my hands and kiss you slowly and in the most romantic ways,
So that you remember with every kiss,
that I am ALL yours,
that in those moments you are all that exists to me,
that I am undeniably, completely and head over heels in love with you."
BLOG UPDATE :)
My daily dialogue.
Don’t eat that.
Don’t do it.
Put that back.
Put that down.
You are a whale.
Why did you eat that.
I don’t care if you want it.
No FUCK WHY DID YOU FUCK UP.
You will never lose anything at this rate.
Just a little bit.
FUCKKK I HATE THE TORTURE.