"We didn’t come this far to only come this far."
Frame of mind.
You know what? Instead of being so goddamn negative, maybe I need to remind myself:
1. I used to weigh 160 pounds. That is, to date, 40.8 pounds more than what I weigh now.
2. I read all these stats that say the average woman is between 130-140, or even more depending on the location. I am WAY BELOW fucking average.
3. I have not had to purchase pants sized higher then a 5/6 since the summer of 2012. I wear XS shirts, XS leggings/tights and I need size XXS or 00 size dresses.
4. On that note: My weight has done nothing but go down since 2012. I lost 30 ish pounds the summer of 2012. Lost the next 10 via. starvation during the school year (at first, without knowing it!).
5. I have not weighed more than 126 since I started this weight loss journey. I admit, summer of 2013 I let myself snack a LOT. And my 119 self fluctuated between 122-126 last summer. That is still incredible to think about…. and instead of viewing it negatively… I should remember that, in those moments, 126 is still so far from 160…. and now back to 118/119 range… I am still so far from where I used to be…
Focus on progress made.
Look at where I have been. And where I am now.
I need to stop beating myself up…
It just really fucking bothers me when I think about the fact that I am literally so preoccupied with food and weight and numbers and fat and calories and everything about that while most people DON’T EVEN NOTICE. My world REVOLVES around this shit and some people could not care less. Like I don’t even know what normal people think about or like to do or anything because my brain cannot comprehend anything else.